How Many Things Can an Empty Nest Mom Worry About During A College Parent's Weekend?

For this empty nest Mom, the number is three, maybe four.

This past weekend I went to see my baby (who's a Freshman at Dickinson College) for the first time since she left for college this August. I was so excited to see her and meet her friends and see firsthand that she is okay and happy. As the weekend unfolded, I realized I was not going to get a lot of sleep as I caught the 'worry bug'.

All Moms, no matter what age children you have, have experienced the 'worry bug', so there's no need explaining that here. But, this was a bad case and almost cost me some valuable quality time with my daughter.

Bill and me arrived on Friday around lunchtime. She was surrounded by several friends that all happen to be boys and another Mom. Laura is wearing jeans, a black little top and a periwinkle cardigan sweater. Her hair is a bit disheveled and I can see the roots coming in, she looks like she may have lost some weight and she has a cold. She doesn't have a stitch of jewelry on. Since she usually takes great pride in her appearance, I start to think maybe somethings' wrong. I make a snide comment about the outfit which I'm sure wasn't the nicest thing to do.

Her friends are delightful. Very playful and smart and I can tell she's "one of the boys". She is still sort of dating her high school boyfriend who's attending a school in Seattle and that worries me. He's a good kid and all, but I think they should just be friends and want to date other people. I wake up in the middle of the night and think about telling her how I feel and worry that if she may become unhappy at school if her love interest is thousands of miles away. Around 4:00 am, I decide maybe I should approach the subject with her when I see her but want to do so in a caring manner, not all snippy like I was the day before.

Saturday morning we head to a cute little coffee place in town. It's as if she "heard" my worries and started to address each and everyone of them. First, she tells us all about her classes and goes into detail about rocks and environmental science and how she feels about the ethical dilemma of hunting and forests. She is animated and sounds happy to me. She lets me know that she is still getting used to the amount of work and doing everyday chores like laundry and admits that dressing and taking care of her hair are sometimes difficult to manage, but that it's getting better.

Then, we head to the tailgate party and Football Game. It is a sparkling blue day and every boy on the lacrosse team stops by to meet us and say hello to Laura. We meet some of her girlfriends from her dorm as well. One of the boys' parents invite us to join their group for dinner. As we are leaving the game, Laura says she has a "crush" on one of the boys we will be going to dinner with. He's a junior, a lacrosse player and very handsome. It seemed like to this worry-wort Mom that maybe he has a crush on her, too. I can already tell what the topic is going to be causing tonight's lack of sleep!

Dinner turns out to be a blast. The two families couldn't be more interesting and fun and the kids are good kids. After dinner, the handsome, JUNIOR, LACROSSE PLAYER asks if Laura wants to go to a party at 'the compound'. (This is where some of the upper class lacrosse players live and it's about one block off campus). We drop her off and my stomach sinks.

3:00 am, "I hope she is okay and will be getting a ride home or is walking with a bunch of kids home"; "A JUNIOR?!***"; "A LACROSSE player?" I decide she has a great foundation and has always carried herself in a decent matter so I should stop worrying and try to fall back asleep and ask her about the party in the morning.

Sunday morning we had breakfast at Fay's in Carlisle. There is a line out the door but the food smells great so we wait. We have a good time. Once again, and right on cue, she tells me the party was fun; she walked back around 2 am with 5 other girls that live in her dorm; the party was fun but that she's quite tired. She tells us that she has tons of work to do this week and she still feels rotten. We go to the drug store and load up nose spray and other vitamins and medicines to help get rid of this awful cold.

I start to worry that she won't be able to kick this cold and there's no one there to really take care of her. She went to the college infirmary prior to our trip and they proceeded to tell her that her voice box was frozen. Now that's worrisome! It is harder to get everything done when you're feeling lousy and I worry that this will make her stressed out and unhappy. It's really a vicious cycle. When we have such brief moments with our children who have left the nest we feel we need to tell them important things and give them guidance and just enjoy their company. Sometimes that's hard to do all packed within a parents' weekend. Dickinson College did a really lovely job providing interesting events like the Trout Gallery Opening and Reception, the tailgate party and a fun run yet still allowing enough downtime to just hang out with our babies.

This letting go and yet holding on is really a very exhausting experience but I do believe we just need to trust our judgment and try to relax and enjoy these very special moments with our children. They instinctively know how to take care of us, which I find amazing and fascinating at the same time.

Advise Needed From My Secret Blogger Friends

Okay, here's the deal and if Husband Bill reads this (.09% probability of this happening), I am screwed. In about 10 days or so, Bill and me head to Dickinson College's Parents Weekend. We will be flying directly into Baltimore a day before it begins due to the distant we are flying, which is a good thing because we get to spend the evening with my sister, her husband and my niece and nephew. The next morning, we drive to Carlisle and see my daughter for the weekend(YEAH). Here comes the tricky part: we are scheduled to leave midday Sunday. Bill needs to get back to work, in fact, he's making an incredible effort to attend at all. He is such a great stepfather to my daughter! And I'm not just saying this in case he actually reads this post! The fact is, it is imperative that he gets back right away.

I was supposed to schedule his flight using the free Southwest ticket we had, just in case he was not able to go at the last moment. I don't know what happened, but I accidentally (it really was an accident...cross my heart and hope to die) used the freebie for my ticket. Now, I am thinking that someone "upstairs" is trying to help me get the chance to spend a few more days visiting my sister. She's my BFF and I miss her terribly. And, I love her husband and children, too. Being 1000's of miles away is not my favorite part of my life.

My sister is thinking she might say something at the dinner like, "boy I sure could use Beth during this remodeling project going on at my house", (useful sister routine) or "it seems such a shame two sisters not being able to spend more time together" (guilt on the husbands) or finally going for the gusto, "the kids really miss their favorite Aunt" (guilt to the Uncle).

If I come home as scheduled it is easier on Bill as I take care of the house and especially, Wrigley. And he can be a handful.

That old saying comes to mind, "be careful what you ask for, you just might get it" for some reason. I am pulled in both directions. So, friends, lay on the advise. What would you do? This empty nest Mom cannot figure this one out.

Parent's Weekend at Miami of Ohio

Ah, home sweet home. I think we got the last available room in all of Oxford, Ohio for Miami University's parents' weekend. This 150-year old farmhouse has one room they open for guests. This is our patio and entrance.

These are the chickens and hens who were roaming freely on the grounds and around our rental car. Very country don't you think? But the owners made homemade waffles, with warm homemade syrup and fresh fruit and eggs from the chickens. Breakfast was absolutely delicious.
The yellow house on the right is where my son and his roommates live. It's a really charming house with a very scary basement where the washer and dryer are housed. Right next door is the Obama headquarters. A diligent volunteer is entering on a beautiful Saturday morning. Jonathan and his buddies had a huge sign attached to their porch when we arrived on Friday night that said, "Ohio is for John McCain". As you can see by Saturday morning, it was stolen. Hmmm.
But, I don't think this lady volunteer took it (she's too short).
Saturday morning begins with the financial/budget talk. JB couldn't be more thrilled to hear our thoughts on how he should save his money and handle his loan. This is one of those cool college coffee bars that makes the best Snickers Iced Coffee drink ever.

Back at the house Nancy is busy frosting yummy cookies in the shape of an "M". Taylor watched and I think he was the official "taste tester", too.

The tailgate parties and the football game is always one of the highlights for most college's parents' weekends. We had a warm, sunny day so my turtleneck top needed to be replaced with a new Miami University t-shirt. The college bookstores make a killing on the parents!

We tailgated for hours with P.V.O. (who I've been calling Tivo since I met him last year) and our friends. The car was loaded up with Costco food and we ate and drank for hours.

Now, Miami no longer has star football players like Ben Roethlisberger and they really only had one quarter of good football. The band, however, was excellent. Still, it's not a good idea to listen to your son and friend laugh out loud as a flag girl drops her flag and then proceeds to be two beats behind the other girls.

Did you know you cannot leave the car doors open and have the music playing for hours or else the battery dies?

Poor Taylor's in the dog house. Luckily, Joe Trucker Man comes to the rescue and Bill assists him and gets the car started!

Nancy offers our hero her famous "M" cookies and he leaves the party happy.

After a fantastic Italian dinner at Paesano's, we head home for some serious beer pong on the patio. (I thought it was just a bad ping pong table and had offered to go buy a decent net and paddles, which brought all the kids to their knees laughing). Here are the winners but I hear, "rematch at graduation", don't you? J.B.'s good friend, Sarah, and the most adorable Freshman girls joined us in the late night fun. They made me think about my Freshman daughter.

A perfect parent's weekend with our kids and I'm ready to head home to the empty nest for a little rest.